Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in sexy_techshaman's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
9:09 pm	Sometimes evil is fun, y'know Darren’ been playing with the computer. At last – this guy is seriously technophobic! How ca you live without gadgets!? He doesn’t have an IPOD! He has no mobile phone! His watch only tells the time! Shit, that’s like a minor extra feature on mine. Mine can tell you the time on 6 different continents, can tell you the temperature (in three scales), how fast you’re moving, it measures your footsteps, has an alarm, a stopwatch, it can measure air pressure, it has a full orchestra for chiming the hour, has a calculator, a memo reminder, a calendar, I can use it to turn the channels on a TV… all his has is two hands going round in circles. There’s something wrong with this guy. Anyway, he has finally found the idea of recreational internet (no, not that. Yet. I’m working on it though). Namely, chat rooms (no, not that either. Bad people! Besides can you imagine Darren cybering? ‘I weep uncontrollably’ ‘I ruin the romantic moment with a sudden attack of angst.’ You get the idea.) Still, he was on a chat room and I found him… and sometimes you’ve just got to have some fun, right? Deepestsecret: Hello? Hotnheavy: Hi! Hotnheavy: asl? Deepestsecret: Pardon? Hotnheavy: A newbie? Kewl. Age, sex, location? Deepestsecret: 23, male, New York. Why? Hotnheavy: Net small talk, netizen. Deepestsecret: Oh. Asl? Hotnheavy: I think he’s got it ;) What’re you wearing? Deepestsecret: What? Hotnheavy: Oh, nothing? Kewl, newbie types naked. Deepestsecret: I see… does anyone on these programmes actually talk sensibly? Hotnheavy: Nah. What do you want them to do? Bemoan how tragic everything is, how they’re the ultimate evil and talk seriously about how amazing their boyfriend is? Deepestsecret: Something other than pathetic sexual come ones would be preferable. This is the internet. I fail to see why anyone should care what I’m wearing. Hotnheavy: Wow, you are a newb. Fine, let’s have a long conversation about…. Demon cats then. Deepestsecret: Demon cats? RICK! Deepestsecret: Stop stalking me. Hotnheavy: Awww… I was just trying to help. Windows is installed in that computer, Hotnheavy: I thought I’d be on hand since you’re facing the only thing more evil than you are. Deepestsecret: I can handle Windows thank you. Hotnheavy: Famous last words. Especially from someone who needs help turning the computer on, amish. Deepestsecret: I am not a luddite. I know how to use a computer. Hotnheavy: You sure? I could come home and show you how a keyboard works… Deepestsecret: Not necessary. I can work a computer. Hotnheavy:  is doubtful. Maybe I ought to in case something goes wrong. I’d hate for you to zap the monitor or something. Deepestsecret: Go awakw Rick. I can handle anything that goes wrong. Hotnheavy: Famous last words… Deepestsecret: I can handle it Rick. Bugger off. Hotnheavy: Ok, ok, oh elite one. You can handle it. Hotnheavy: Here, have a present. Deepestsecret: What did you do? Hotnheavy: Gave you something to handle :D Deepestsecret: Rick… Deepestsecret: What’s the Sasser worm? Deepestsecret: Rick? Deepestsecret: RICK! Hotnheavy: Enjoy. If you don’t handle it you can beg for assistance when I get home. Byeee. {Hotnheavy has signed off} Deepestsecret: RICK! GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! Deepestsecret: The computer’s shutting down! What? Deepestsecret: Rick! Evil? Moi? Heeee, now what should I demand in return for fixing the computer *evil thoughts.* (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 9th, 2004
11:05 pm	I think I've just hit Nirvana I don't care what anyone says - you can hit Nirvana with music alone. Alright, maybe not but it does do for REALLY good trances. You can keep your saffron clad bald fat men saying 'ommm' I got me some killer MP3s that are taking me to enlightenment, have a rowdy weekend there, then drop round the lower circles of depraved hell for kicks... *completely looses it* (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
10:19 pm	Porn, porn, porn. Now, Sparky may have said something to this degree already, but probably waaaay too politely. So, what the fuck is with hetero porn? Ok, so you insist in putting those breasts in their, I can live with that - but fuck, it's like that's ALL that's there. Why not just get a photo of a couple of huge boobies and leave it at that? And the men? What, don't women EVER watch porn? If so, hire gay, ladies because you will never see a man in hetero porn. Seriously. There can be 10 men all fucking the same woman and it'll all be managed with the guys off camera. That takes talent. You see blurs and occasional glimpses, but you can practically hear the fucking director "argh! cock, you got cock on film! I want this full treble penetration scene without a single cock!!!" Oh, please, are hetero men really so insecure? "Arrrgh, I saw another man's cock!!! Heeeellppp!!!" We could scatter all the armies of the world with giant pictures of cocks and watch the regiments collapse in masculinity terror. And while we're on the subject, alright, it's changing, but WHY are so many hetero male porn stars, especially from old porno, UGLY? Helllloooo - ugly and porn do not go together. Hellllloooo no. 2, just 'cos the guy's got a big cock doesn't mean he can have a big paunch and a back you can make toupees with! It's not like anyone's even going to see the cock anyway! And then they pull out stunning blonde bomb shell called Candy and they fuck? Oh yeah - I know porn storylines are completely implausible (and what is with that, too? Some plot's a good idea, even if it isn't essential. What gets me is that foreign porn has subtitles! Subtitles!!! Even if anyone WAS listening, it's not like what they say actually matters! 'oooh, fuck me' sounds pretty much the same in any language) but thsi guy is SERIOUSLY not going to get that girl. There endeth the lesson. Go forth and fuck like bunnies (or like cats or badgers, or sexy leather folk, or in star trek uniforms while screaming passionate klingon, wherever your kinks are.) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
10:16 pm	Oppressed! Opressed! I'm being oppressed! And you'd think Sparky would know better wouldn't you? Of course he was waaay too busy trying to remember something he's forgotten (obsessive personality? Check. Senility at age 22? Looks like) and was completely unprepared for a mass assault. Course, HE thought we wouldn't all co-operate against him. He was wrong :) Don't worry, he'll be out of catatonia at some point. Probably. Until then, we have stolen his fingers! MUAHAHA Ilatheril and Sitharensor have broken free and got their own journals and I get to talk about porn! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 31st, 2004
9:39 pm	Free! FREE! Watch out world, Rick's got himself a voice! Yup, Sparky has made a space for me outside his brain, to make me shut up as much as anything (you'd think he'd know better by now wouldn't you?) But yes, here I am, if you can handle me (and I know some of you can *lick*) free from that stuffy head (is it just me, or are, like, 90% of the people in Sparky's head SEVERELY depressing? Even discounting my snugglebunny). Now give me a moment to archive my Olympics videos (hey, easy way to convince everyone you're straight - sports. That's if you do the closet thing. I prefer the screaming-through-a-megaphone-while-wearing-assless-chaps thing. And at the same time NO-ONE catches on that it's the only easily accessible media with lots of men wearing skin tight clothing!) (10 Comments |Comment on this)